Solo Travel for Black Women: 5 Travel Bloggers Share Their Best Tips

September 9, 2018 By Somto Ugwueze 17 Comments

Black Female Solo Travel: Best Tips from the Pros

Let’s talk about solo travel for black women, a topic that raises concerns and some eyebrows. Is it safe? Does it get lonely? What about racism? While these are legitimate concerns, they often stem from misconceptions and misinformation. Many of us grow up being taught that the world is dangerous and that we as women are especially vulnerable. For black women, the fear of sticking out, facing racism, or being fetishized makes solo travel especially daunting. Today, I want to show you that traveling alone as a black woman is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, it can be really empowering.

Spain Bucket List: 10 Unconventional Tips for Women Traveling Solo in Spain

June 9, 2018 By Somto Ugwueze 16 Comments

10 Unconventional Tips for Solo Travel in Spain

In this guide, I’m sharing tips for women traveling solo in Spain. You’ve probably read a million solo travel guides that tell you the same generic, touristy things to do – go to this cathedral, eat [insert popular dish], drink [insert popular beverage]. This is not one of those guides! Spain is one country where you should ditch those cookie-cutter travel tips. If you’re a female solo traveler looking to have an amazing time in Spain, here are 10 unconventional travel tips for you.

5 Self-Limiting Beliefs I Overcame through Solo Travel

November 14, 2017 By Somto Ugwueze 16 Comments

5 Self-Limiting Beliefs I Crushed While Traveling Solo

Looking out into the horizon at the Cliffs of Moher — Cliffs of Moher, Ireland

Do you know the quickest destroyers of hopes and dreams?

Self-limiting beliefs. Everyone has them. They are those pesky little voices in your head replaying negative affirmations nonstop. They tell you that you’re not smart enough. That you’re going to fail. They make you second guess your worth, your decisions, and your ambitions. I’ve been there.

In fact, my self-limiting beliefs talked me out of writing this post for a while. I thought, ‘Who do I think I am writing about self-improvement? I’m not a wellness coach or a therapist. Why should anyone care what I have to say?’

I brushed those thoughts aside and continued to write. I was getting tired of second-guessing myself so I decided to just write this darn thing! I may not be a therapist, but I’ve learned a few things about overcoming self-limiting beliefs through experience. Solo travel has been the key to overcoming the worst of them. Alone on the road for weeks, I learned that I was more resourceful and capable than I thought. I want to share my experience to hopefully inspire you to challenge your own self-limiting beliefs so they can stop holding you back.

Self-Limiting Belief #1: I am not outgoing enough.

Since childhood, I’ve been introverted and somewhat shy. I became even more shy after moving to America at age nine. Because I struggled to make friends, I usually kept to myself. I’m a native English speaker, but I still had no clue what the other kids in my 5th grade class were talking about half the time. They also thought that I, the new girl from Africa, was kind of odd. For a couple of years, I felt invisible and unwanted.

Although I now have a solid circle of friends, I still harbor this lingering belief that I am not good at socializing. When I first started traveling solo, I was worried that I’d be alone. I felt that I wouldn’t be able to strike up a conversation with other travelers. I’d be sitting in a restaurant by myself, and the other diners would think I was a loner or a loser or both.

The reality was the complete opposite. Traveling solo around Europe, I made more friends than I had back in California. I made friends at hostels, on trains, randomly on the streets, and during walking tours and pub crawls – basically in every situation imaginable. I found myself letting go of the ‘quiet, anti-social’ persona that I had come to believe was my nature. It wasn’t. I’m actually a pretty social person. I genuinely enjoy meeting new people. This realization has made me more excited and less nervous about talking to strangers.

Self-Limiting Belief #2: I keep making bad decisions. This will be another disaster.

I like to say that between 2011 and 2014 I made more mistakes than in the previous 20 years of my life. Failed classes in college? Check. Lost jobs? Check. Broke and directionless? Check. Those failures took a toll on my self-confidence and made me feel hopeless. I constantly compared myself to my friends, who all seemed to be doing better than me professionally.

Then I packed my bags and moved to Madrid, Spain to teach English and travel. I thought I was making a reckless decision but was too depressed to care. Spain had been calling my name. In the back of my mind, though, I was thinking ‘Shouldn’t I try to get a real job?’ I was already behind professionally. Moving abroad would set me back even more. What I didn’t know was that teaching English abroad would inspire me to become a travel writer. It would connect me with other independent minds living life on their own terms. It would give me the courage to look beyond a traditional 9 to 5 and find work that suits my nomadic spirit. Here I am two years later getting paid to write about my travels and moving closer to making it my full-time career.

No, moving to Spain was not a bad decision. It did not set me back at all. In fact, it gave me direction and purpose. I look back on that move as one of the boldest and smartest actions I’ve ever taken.

Palacio Real in Madrid, Spain — Madrid, where I called home for nearly a year

Somto at the beach in Palma de Mallorca, Spain — Palma de Mallorca, Spain

Somto looking out in the distance in Spain — A Coruna, Spain

Self-Limiting Belief #3: I’m too nice. People will take advantage of me.

My mom used to say that I should toughen up or else I would be crushed by this mean world. Compared to my no-nonsense, assertive twin sister, I’m easygoing and gentle. In Nigerian culture, that can be seen as a sign of weakness. Surviving in Nigeria is really hard so you need to be tough and even ruthless to make it. Being nice just doesn’t cut it.

After trying to toughen up with no success. I realized that I couldn’t just change my personality at the snap of a finger. So I stopped trying. Then I traveled solo. No one took advantage of me. In fact, most people I met were more than willing to go out of their way to help me. In Paris, a 40-something Danish man bought me a train ticket when I was struggling to work the machine. I was suspicious. What did he want from me? Nothing, actually. It was just plain old kindness. There is still a lot of that in the world.

Self-Limiting Belief #4: I’m too indecisive. I need someone to help me make a choice.

If you’ve ever gone out to lunch with me, you’ll know that I can take forever to make up my mind. I’ve started to look at menus before going out to eat to save time. Given my indecisiveness, I was worried that if I traveled solo I would waste a lot of time trying to decide what to do and end up not doing much.

Wrong! Case in point: during my three day solo trip to Germany and Austria, I…

1) Had a few pints at Spring Fest (the spring version of Octoberfest) in Munich.
2) Toured the Sound of Music filming locations in Salzburg.
3) Got lost at the Salzburg Fortress (it took me a good 45 minutes to find the exit.)
4) Visited the Dachau Concentration Camp.
5) Visited Mozart’s birthplace.
6) Ate wienerschnitzel for the first time.
7) Fell in love with German wheat beer.

There was no indecisiveness at all. I am a planner so I mapped everything out ahead of time. Once I got to my destination, I was constantly on the move. Solo travel can help you become more proactive. Everything is up to you so you have to take charge. You learn to trust your intuition and your decision-making process.

The front of Mozart's birthplace — Mozart’s birthplace in Salzburg, Austria

The entrance to the Dachau Concentration Camp — The entrance to Dachau

Self-Limiting Belief #5: I can’t find directions to save my life.

This one is kind of true. Remember that I got lost at the fortress in Salzburg? But solo travel made me realize that I wasn’t as directionally challenged as I had thought. About 90% of the time, I knew exactly where I was going. In 22 days, I traveled through the U.K., Croatia, Italy, and Greece. I didn’t get lost even once! I was so proud of myself.

The bottom line is that traveling solo forced me to confront myself in the most unfiltered way. I couldn’t hang onto the comfort of my friends or siblings. It was just me and the beliefs in my head. I learned that I am a resourceful, strong-willed lady who can do things for herself. When those self-limiting beliefs creep up, I remind myself of those times when I traveled solo like a boss.

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Solo Travel Safety: How I Dealt With a Stalker in Croatia

September 1, 2017 By Somto Ugwueze 10 Comments

How I Fought Off a Stalker in Dubrovnik, Croatia

I sat at the entrance to Dubrovnik’s Old Town, eating some vanilla ice cream to cope with the July heat. Blissfully watching tourists walk by, I could never have imagined the nightmare that would follow.

The afternoon sun was melting my ice cream so I hurried to finish it up. I was also eager to get started on my first planned activity: a tour of the city walls. It was only my second day in the medieval Croatian city, but I was already in love! Dubrovnik reminded me of those idyllic oil paintings of the Mediterranean. It seemed to be a perfect travel destination for a solo female traveler.

The Nightmare Begins

I was about to get up when a 50-something-year-old man approached me out of nowhere. He was dressed in khaki shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, and dark sun shades.

“Hey, what’s your name?” he asked

“Um, Sheila,” I lied. Well, Sheila’s actually my middle name.

“I was looking at you and was wondering… Are you by yourself?”

“No, I’m waiting for some friends.”

That wasn’t entirely a lie either. I had coincidentally arrived in Dubrovnik at the same time as my Croatian-American friends from college, Cody and Clay. We had had dinner the night before, along with their friend Ting, and planned to meet up again later in the day. For now, I was going to explore the city on my own.

“Oh, okay,” he continued in a broken accent, “While you wait I can take you out to lunch, get to know you a little better. I like dark-skinned girls. Very beautiful.”

“No, thank you,” I retorted, “I’m not interested.”

“Are you sure? I’ll take you to a fine restaurant. The best Croatian food. You’ll like it.” he insisted.

“No, I’m okay. Really.” I said, walking away.

I power walked through the gate into the Old Town, arriving at Dubrovnik’s Main Street, Stradun. Then I looked around to find the ticket vendor for the city wall tour.

Spotting the little shop, I went over and purchased my ticket. Then I came back towards the city gate to join the line for the tour. He was standing by the line, staring directly at me!

“Will you change your mind?” he asked

“No! I’m not interested! Leave me alone!” I replied, feeling agitated.

The other tourists began to stare so he reluctantly walked away as I joined the line for the tour. I tried my best to cool down, dismissing him as a nuisance.

I walked the city’s stone walls, following a path at the top of the structure. The elevation provided spectacular views of Dubrovnik’s orange-roofed buildings and the surrounding Mediterranean Sea.

It took me about 45 minutes to walk the entire wall. Then I climbed back down to Stradun and headed in the direction of my hostel. This time I was more vigilant, looking at my surroundings. He didn’t show up again so I breathed a sigh of relief.

I stopped for a quick bite and drinks at a beach bar nearby then headed back to my hostel to freshen up. After taking a quick nap, I met up with Cody and Clay for dinner. The rest of the evening was pure bliss – eating cevapi, having a laugh, and touring Game of Thrones filming locations.

The next day, my last full day in Dubrovnik, was also without problems. I met up with Cody, Clay, and Ting again, and we took a ferry to nearby Lokrum Island, where peacocks were roaming everywhere. Afterward, we went bar hopping in Lapad then took the Dubrovnik Cable Car up to the highest point in the city, taking in the sunset.

The Final Encounter

The next morning, it was time to say goodbye to Dubrovnik. I packed my bag and headed to catch the bus to the airport.

As I passed Pile Bay, a small boating dock close to my hostel, I spotted him. Again!

“Why you don’t give me chance? You think I’m going to do something bad to you? I’m a nice guy. I just want to treat you to lunch. That’s all.”

“Get away from me! Get out of here!” I was fuming.

“Are you going to the airport? I can give you a ride. Just give me chance. I’m really sad that you don’t give me chance. Do you think I’m a bad guy.”

Exasperated, I stormed off. I was leaving so now there was no need to argue anymore.

“Really? You won’t give me chance at all?” I heard him say from a distance.

Unamused, I kept walking.

Soon, I caught my bus, got to the airport, and caught my flight. As I flew to my next destination, Greece, I reflected on that encounter and wondered if I had handled it well. Was he a nuisance or a serious threat? Should I have gone to the police? What would I have told the police?

Although this experience was unsettling, it has not deterred me from solo travel. There are risks. However, the vast majority of people I’ve encountered have been more than pleasant. This was my first and only negative experience as a solo female traveler.

What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Have you experienced a similar mishap while traveling solo? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Solo Female Travel Tips: Positano, Italy

August 12, 2017 By Somto Ugwueze 17 Comments

How To Experience Positano, Italy as a Female Solo Traveler

As I stood at the top of a hill opposite Positano’s iconic cliffside, I felt like I was in a dream. I thought to myself, ‘This has to be the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen in my life!’ Colorful bungalows and villas were perched on the cliff, stacked upon one another in an asymmetrical fashion. The houses cascaded down to the base of the cliff, a pebble stone beach. There is a saying that when people from the Amalfi Coast go to heaven, they will not notice any difference. I don’t remember where I heard that, but my experience driving to Positano and exploring its hilly landscape makes me believe it 100%. Positano’s ethereal beauty and maze-like landscape make it the perfect place for a solo female traveler to wander for a few days. Here’s what you can expect on a solo trip to Positano.

Solo Travel Tales: Unexpected Encounters in Santorini

July 30, 2017 By Somto Ugwueze 9 Comments

Unexpected Encounters on My Solo Trip To Santorini

Santorini was made for lovers. When you’re there, chances are you’ll see some newlyweds doing a photo shoot against the idyllic backdrop – blue-domed churches and jaw-dropping views of the Mediterranean Sea. I can confidently say that 99% of visitors to this island come with their significant other, friends, mom, or dog – some type of company. So what possessed me to take a solo tip to Santorini? I can explain.